band name taxonomy

the Flint Journal -- yes, Flint, Michigan, as in Roger and Me -- that pillar of cultural commentary, has produced this taxonomy of band names.

Much like biological taxonomy and dichotomous key, various types of bands often will have common name traits with other bands of a similar sound or style, since names convey an attitude and image before a band ever plays a note.

Hence, that's why (sic) there aren't many heavy metal bands with names like Happy Johnny and The Smiley Faces.

And here's an example:

'The' bands

Examples: The Strokes, The Vines, The Hives, The Avatars, The Pulse

The most famous "the" bands were classic rockers The Doors and The Eagles, but The Animals and The Kinks were the bands that had the greatest influence on the early 2000s crop of bands that drew liberally from '60s garage rock and bubblegum pop. Fuzzy guitars, off-key vocals and a heavy backbeat for three-minute songs are the form's stock in trade.

Exceptions: The The and The Smiths - '80s British rockers who were more into mopey, atmospheric pop.

He forgot "The Commitments."

Did we know all this already, without it having to be noted? Well, yes, but somebody did finally note it in print, so ... well, we're noting the notation here. Hmmm ...