Since this is a small personal blog with a small readership of 99% People I Know, I hadn't thought I'd need to post rules about commenting. And I probably still don't need to. But I just deleted a comment from an angryperson offering a personal attack---not to me or to someone who commented on this blog, but to someone I quoted on the blog. Naturally, I'm not gonna allow that.
So for the sake of nipping such things in the bud, or at least having a policy on the books, here's my rules for commenting on this blog:
1. No profanity. Of course, I fucking swear all the fucking time and fucking well expect you to, too. But I won't have it used against me or any other commenters. So, officially, no profanity. I will mostly turn the other cheek.
2. No name calling. Again, I reserve the right to call names on my own damn blog. But you don't get to. I will not be turning any cheeks. Seriously. No name-calling.
3. No personal attacks. If you don't like my opinions (or someone else's, for that matter) you are welcome to debate them. You are not welcome to speculate on my appearance, question the frequency or nature of my sexual encounters, cast aspersions on my parentage or upbringing, etc, etc. Grow the fuck up.
4. No racism, sexism, classism, ageism, or any other kind of categorical prejudices about groups of people. Again, someone who comes in debating respectfully and offering thoughtful racism, sexism, etc. may very well be tolerated as a devil's advocate. Then again, I might just delete you. Anyone who doesn't come in with respect and thoughtfulness will just be deleted. Am I shutting out the things I don't wanna hear? Fuck yeah! This is my blog. I have to listen to ____ist shit out in the real world all day long. Why do I have to tolerate it, much less debate it, on my personal blog?
5. The definitions of all of the above are made at my discretion. No, I won't justify it.
6. I'm updating the comment rules because of stupid people. No stupid comments allowed. What's my definition of "stupid"? See number 5.
7. Comments to the effect of "I've never been here before and I won't come again, but I just had to comment here to say that you're wrong. And stupid!" will be deleted. I don't care if you disagree with me, and won't field a long column of comments to that effect, especially if your comment makes it clear that you didn't bother reading the other comments first, and especially if all your comment is about is relieving your feelings because I criticized a stupidity that you committed.
8. It's always stupidity (someone else's) that forces me to update. Comments that are actually "viral" rants produced by the Campaign for This Candidate or the Campaign Against That Candidate will be deleted. If I become irate enough, the commenter will be banned. If I get even more irate than that, the commenter's email address will be hinted at in the comments in such a way that bots will not find it but literate readers will. DO NOT SHIT ON MY INTERNETS! Oh yeah, and please don't think that you can write your comment in such a way that I can't sniff you out. A goldfish on crack could sniff you out. That is all.
9. Don't get me wrong, I'm always happy to have links to other people's blogs in my comments. Blog marketing is what it is. But if you made up a stupid comment specifically to have an excuse to link to yourself, expect to be deleted. Please at least try to read the post and make your comment relate to that post, or better yet, come here with the intention of participating in a discussion.
10. Please note (I probably should have mentioned this at the beginning) I don't always respond to comments, but that doesn't mean I don't read them. I, like many people, suffer from terminal self-consciousness, and if I can't think of something to say that doesn't make me squirm with embarrassment, I won't say anything at all. I looooove getting praise and encouragement in comments, but I have no idea how to respond to them ... so I usually don't. Likewise, a well-phrased argument that says all that needs to be said? Don't know how to respond to it, so I operate the better part of valor. Doesn't mean I think you're dumb. If I thought you were dumb, I'd delete you (see above).
11. I see no reason to put up with abusive comments. So if your post is worthless enough, I WON'T delete it. Instead, I'll just post your IP address underneath your comment. I consider this fair warning.
12. Any comment with "tl;dr" in it will be immediately deleted. If you didn't read it, why did you comment on it? This applies whether you're saying "tl;dr" to my post or to a comment above you. Seriously, how much of an asshole can you be?