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November 04, 2007

Frozen in Mild Terror

Can't write. Trying to Unlock.

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Three-quarters of the way through something?

Whenever I'm three-quarters through something I am siezed with a horrible certainty that what I've been working on is stupid, stupid junk and I would be mortified if anyone knew I'd ever written crap that stupid, and why did I ever think I could write anyway? And I want to crawl into a hole and die, and...

Fortunately, three-quarters is really too far in to quit. It's unpleasant pushing through it, though.

I'm halfway through. have been for about a year. was stopped by various things, but my way has been clear for about a week or two now. now stopped by terror. mild terror. that is, i feel it mildly.

sigh, just have to get going again. i'm not even worried at this point how sucky it is.

Take a piece of paper, a pen and a watch or clock with a second hand. Tense and then relax your shoulder muscles. Then write for *exactly one minute*. Sixty seconds, no more, no less. Doesn't matter what you write, you can write "this is stupid, I don't want to do this..." or whatever (but you must write sentences or at least phrases - you can't just write one word over and over) Then count how many words you have written.

That's it. Just see how many words you can write in a minute. Make a note of the number, but throw the piece of paper away. Tomorrow try it again but try and beat your target.

Dumb exercise. Works every time though.

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