70 posts categorized "terror"

November 21, 2006

Distracted By the Combover

So I'm sitting in a cafe right now, rehearsing my arguments for my job interview today (introductory phone interview), and a guy walks into the cafe, with fine, longish dishwater brown hair that looks wrong somehow. He keeps touching it self-consciously.

He passes me and I look back and see that his hair is arranged in a combover, but not a side-to-side combover, but rather a back-to-front combover. Sad thing is, although the dude isn't particularly attractive, he'd be okay if he buzzed his hair into that I'm-going-bald-but-I'm-too-cool-and-tough-to-deny-it-and-don't-you-like-the-shape-of-my-skull-I-look-just-like-Vin-Diesel-okay-not-really-but-I-am-cool style. Yeah, and wore different clothes. And stopped moving like he was a rabbit.

Anyway, it drove my pitch entirely out of my head and now I'm gonna have to start over.

Uh Oh. Now he's sat down in my line of sight. He caught me looking at him, twice, and probably thinks I'm interested. Shit, am I gonna have to leave?

***Update***

Yay! the interview went well and I'm scheduled for an in-person interview next week!

InNoWriMo Tally
Today's Wordcount: 2432
Total Wordcount: 10,293

November 17, 2006

InNoWriMoPocalypse Now

Okay, so after writing the InNoWriMo post (below) in which I said I would start InNo once I had settled in to a job, and after having yet another job interview

(tally:

Interviews = 5
Second Interviews = 2
Rejections = 3
Offers = 0),

it occurred to me that I'm hanging absolutely everything on my getting a job. Contingent much? This is bad because it lays waaaaay too much pressure on getting the job.

(tally of things contingent upon getting a job:

1. finding an apartment
2. buying a car
3. getting health insurance ->
4. expensive health measures I shall take once I have health insurance which I shan't specifiy here
5. getting my kitty back (he can't live with me here 'cause my roommate's allergic)

and now

6. writing a novel)

I think that's waaay too much, don't you?

And sooo, in the interests of not putting my entire life off until I have that elusive job, I'm going to:

1. start at least looking into getting a car (yes, Ernest, I know I said I would weeks ago)
2. start InNoWriMo

That's right, you heard me, I'm going to start the new nobble, and I'm going to start it on

Sunday!

Which means that (time for another list):

1. my WriMo will be from Sunday Nov. 19, to Tuesday Dec. 19, which is thirty-one days, but I'm planning on taking Thanksgiving off.
2. I will aim at 3000 words/day and accept 2000, for a grand total of 60,000 -- 90,000. Is this unrealistic? We shall see.
3. I will not freak out, whatever happens. If I fall below my wordcount, I will not freak out. If the writing sucks, I will not freak out. I will stay the course, no matter how many soldiers die ... uh, I mean no matter how worthless the campaign-- er the nobble is. Wow, I know he's still alive, but I feel like I'm being haunted by the ghost of Rumsfeld. (Is he still alive? Was he ever?)

Sealed with spit and ... uh, pee, which I'm going to go take right now. Bye.

November 06, 2006

Innnnnteresting ...

Yeah. Um ...

Checking my web stats, I found that someone linked to my Why are interracial relationships important to society? post from this webpage (WARNING! NOT SAFE FOR WORK! DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!

It's a large, large life.

October 14, 2006

Writer's Block

Ever' body's askin' me if I have writer's block re: the nobble, and I didn't think I did. I thought I had a massive case of avoidance, which I didn't think was the same thing. But then I read this thing in the New York Times which said:

depression, which ''afflicts writers at a rate 8 to 10 times higher than the general population.''

(yoikes!) and:

'both very low and very high levels of arousal interfere with performance.'' In other words, too much motivation, as well as too little, can trigger writer's block, and this explains why ''the bigger the project, the bigger the block.''

hmmm ... and:

A friend of mine once invented a ''cure'' for minor blocks ... : to counteract a procrastination, create a bigger one. Think up a grand, long-term, world-changing project -- something like Mr. Casaubon's ''Key to All Mythologies'' from ''Middlemarch,'' or that old reliable, the Great American Novel -- and in your mind invest it with such life-defining importance that everything you do that doesn't contribute to realizing it becomes a waste of time. As long as meeting this week's deadline is a way of avoiding the really big thing that you ought to be doing instead, it becomes much easier. A pretty feeble ruse, perhaps, but it works.

which might work except the nobble is pretty damned big ... that's the problems; and then there's writing as avoidance of writing (kinda like this post!):

In ''Out of Sheer Rage'' Dyer achieves a Cartesian state of procrastination, leading his readers through so many densely nested layers of avoidance as he travels the world visiting Lawrence's haunts that not writing about Lawrence becomes an end in itself.

Okay, maybe I am blocked.

October 03, 2006

Things Goin' On In My Empty Head

Still fighting a cold (a cold! I haven't had one of those in years!) and my head is emptier than usual.

But yes, I am always this obsessed with television drama, especially when it's good. Why are we getting so many good television dramas these days? Could it be because our leaders are so shockingly horrible that we can't really watch what they're doing or we'll gouge out our own eyes? We've gotten used to torture and kidnapping and not habeusing corpuses and all sorts of anti-social-programs and anti-education hijinks ... but a pedophile heading up the anti-pedophile caucus in the Senate? Wow.

No wonder people are shooting up the Amish. The world is crazy.

September 25, 2006

Looking For A Job

Okay, it was inevitable. I'm now officially on the job market. Here's what I'm looking for and if you hear of anything in the Bay Area that might fit, please let me know!

Nonprofit: I'm particularly interested in nonprofits that address economic disadvantage, labor issues, immigration issues, and the environment. I have a lot of experience in arts and ethnic nonprofits.
• advocacy/organizing
• programming/program management
• event coordination
• development
• outreach/volunteer coordination/membership
• writing/editing/written project management
• teaching: writing/english/basic reading/all primary school subjects (esp. interested in teaching teens and adults)

For profit:
• writing/edition/written project management

I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ADMIN POSITIONS! And, except in the case of a development job, I'm not interested in entry-level positions.

Thanks all!

September 11, 2006

9/11/06

My friend C. woke me up around 6:30 or 7 that morning with a phone call.

"Oh my god!" she said. I've heard her upset before, but she prides herself on her crisis coping skills. I'd never heard her on the edge of hysteria like this.

"Oh my god, someone just flew a plane into the World Trade Center and it collapsed! They've also attacked the Pentagon and they're not sure about the White House! It's all over tv, but don't watch it! You shouldn't watch it!"

My first response to this was annoyance: "What are you talking about? Of course I'm going to watch it."

I didn't really believe her. I just thought, insofar as I could think before coffee, that she was responding to first reports, which are always inflated and, well, hysterical. I spent the rest of the day in my jammies on my couch, except when I got up to get food, and when I accosted my roommate in the hallway, myself by that time somewhat wild-eyed, with an injunction not to go to her office, which was across the street from the TransAm building in downtown San Francisco. (Most major cities were going through their moment of hubris, thinking they were important enough to be attacked by terrorists. SFans got over ours within 48 hours, although the city of SF and Homeland Security continue to be hysterical about the Bay Bridge.)

It was a strange day. My roommate had a tv in her own room so we sat, separate, watching the same show over and over again---the towers collapsing, the tiny plane disappearing into the side of the pentagon, the clouds of dust and ash shooting out sideways and through the canyons of New York. Just like I did with my roommate, so I did with my family and friends: we sat separated, each in our own individual or coupled units, watching the same show replicated on millions of small screens, repeated dozens of times over the course of the day.

It was a national sick day. So many of us, especially on the west coast, where the news reached us before we dressed for work, sat in our pajamas all day on the couch, eating comfort food and staving off that indoors-too-long headache. Staving off that feeling of unreality and monstrousness you get as a child when, through an emergency of the body, the order of the day is disturbed and you are thrown out of your routine. Somewhere, the world was continuing, having lunch, going to fifth period study hall, and you were home watching "Get Smart" reruns. Though you would never admit it to anyone, deep down, you hated such days. Such days in childhood were worse, in their way, than those long dark nights are now, those nights when you realize something about yourself and, no matter how many DVDs you slide into the player, you can't look away from that realization and there's nothing you can do but sit in a buzzingly empty room and study it, study yourself, your lacks. It was a headache day, and everyone spent it alone.

And no amount of hindsight can change the fact that we all knew, we all felt on the day, as we sat there watching the towers fall down, that something big had happened, something more horrifying than jet-fuel bombs, than people jumping out of 80th story windows, than flight attendants with throats cut by box cutters. The pundits will have it that we sold our rights out of fear of further terrorist attacks, but that's simply not true. We sat home all day, all year, suspecting that school was out forever. We sold our rights so that Mommy would come home, feel our foreheads, and tell us that we were going back to school tomorrow, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Why do you think the first chicken-soup tagline was "America, open for business?"

The problem is ... well, no, there's more than one problem. The first problem is that, once you've seen a horrifying truth, you can't unsee it. The second problem is that the truth we saw five years ago today was vast, complex, and vague. In fact, that's exactly what was so horrifying about it: that it wasn't a truth that can be contained in a few weighty sentences, but rather that it is the sort of truth that demands that you go out and find it and shape it. It's a horrible-monster-truth that is so big that you have to walk towards its multiple, fanged, snapping maws just to see to the edge of it. Another problem is that it's a truth too large to encompass that demands heroic action. But what heroic action? Against what? Who is the enemy? What is the transgression that must be righted? Do I need a sword? A pen? A ploughshare?

You can try to get big and general, but once you get big and general enough to encompass it, it loses all meaning. "America's arrogance" doesn't mean any more than "oil imperialism" or "the wages of capitalism". I suppose the only real thing to do is to break it down into its component tentacles and pick one to hack away at. Al Gore's film "An Inconvenient Truth" is really the first 9/11 emollient on offer. Because, to make the unreality go away, it has to be big, and it has to be real enough. Pick one: the Bush regime, neoconservatism, global warming, stop the addiction, religious racism, geographical ignorance, cultural ignorance, etc.

It would be nice if we, as a nation---just as we did on 9/11/01 when we all sat alone together and saw a big ugly truth---could as a nation all look up and realize that action and empowerment are the cures of inaction and disempowerment. It would be nice if we each picked a tentacle of 9/11 to hack away at, all the while seeing and recognizing the amorphous shape of the larger beast. I don't think it's going to happen, not enough to turn this around. It's impossible not to suspect that George W. Bush will be the American republic's Julius Caesar (without the intellect or the military prowess, natch.) Maybe that means that we have another century or so of open empire, under a dictatorship. But looking at China, looking at the EU ... I don't think that's going to happen, either. The problem with Julius Caesar comparisons is that you need the intellect and military prowess to have that kind of unquestionable power. We're a sad sloppy second, at best.

Maybe today is simply the anniversary of the death of our republic, a sadly misshapen creature, even in its youth and strength, and now something dying of terminal obsolescence. Republics are small things, and we are too big. Maybe that's the heart of the Big, Ugly Truth. I don't know, I still don't know. But I'm observing something today. And maybe it's just appropriate that I don't know what.

August 31, 2006

Bad News and Good News

Well, admissions are in order. Somehow, someway, the nobble has gone stale on me. I don't know exactly why, but since April, since I've been here at my parents' house, I have been unable to work on the damn thing.

This doesn't mean "writer's block", whatever that is (and I hate it when people ask me if I have writer's block. I'm sure they don't know what that's even supposed to mean!) I know what needs to be done on the book and I still have plenty of ideas. I just have no joy in the project right now. I didn't want to put it away and take the risk that it will simply never come back out again, but I think that's what I have to do now.

In Good News, the YA fantasy trilogy idea that's been floating around my head all year without landing because it was all abstractions and no images, finally threw out an image (and boy, was it a doozy!) yesterday, and I wrote the first two or three pages (longhand!)

I'm excited about it and I can't wait to get going on it. I even have a title for the first one: "The Sixth Element", which is boring, I know, but very fitting. I was thinking of de-boring-ing it by making it "The Sixth Source" but that's hard to pronounce and hardly less boring. But I like the second book title (so far) a lot better: "The Tendency of Magic is Toward Balance" or maybe just "The Tendency of Magic".

So, poor Chinaman Treetops needs to go away for awhile. Let's all hope it comes back. Sigh.

August 21, 2006

More Temporizing

I know, I know, I promised to blog again, but my self-imposed deadline for draft 2 iz coming up and I'm nowhere near close to finished. So I'm going to go crazy these next two weeks (ten days, actually) and see how much I can get done. Thereafter will come the bad writing fads. Promise.

July 21, 2006

Ignorance Ignorance

So much of my first draft was just placeholders. "Here, in this spot, something like this happens." I've got crap like that everywhere. I've spent the summer, so far, on the first five of what is now 17 chapters, rewriting and rewriting and rewriting that, because I can't rewrite the later chapters until I understand the earlier chapters.

For example, Leonard, my most verbose speaker (and the newcomer to the Martian colony, so he gets to lay out the whole world) is gay and not happy about it. You'd think this would be fairly straightforward---or at least I thought this would be fairly straightforward. But everything about his gay life and loves came out false-seeming in the rough. So I've been doing a lot of reading and discovering mainly how little I actually know about gay life and community now, not to mention a hundred years ago.

I have no "instincts" about a community that's closed to me. I've been bugging my queer friends and reading reading reading. I am so ignorant. I seem to get more ignorant the more I know. Leonard's central scene (literally central in the nobble, and the scene around which his earlier and later actions hinge) is completely opaque to me. What would happen here? Why would it happen? How would it play out? What would motivate these men and how would Leo respond to all of this? I know what needs to happen in this scene for the plot to move forward but I have no idea how it's going to work.

And here I was thinking that the rough draft was such an achievement.

And when this whole gay thing is all done, I'm going to have to tackle the woman thing and the immigrant thing. At least I have an in to both of those, but who knows? That might be more of a handicap and not less.

argh

July 04, 2006

Not in my name

The other side of Independence Day should be our independence from paying for, financially and morally, such wars as this.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who was reminded of this, not to mention this. Yes, Operation Desert Storm was the opening to a new Vietnam, in the same way that sending "advisors" to Vietnam led to sending troops years later.

My god, think about it: it's been fifteen years already.

This is not what our country, my country, should be doing. Would that fireworks could somehow remind us of that.

May 10, 2006

So Depressed

I just got an email from my friend Patty. She let me know two pieces of news:

1. Cody's books is closing

2. A Clean Well-Lighted Place for Books is closing

Cody's is not a spot on my personal map. Being in Berkeley, a place too psychologically far away from San Francisco for me to visit it more often than three or four times a year, Cody's has never been a staple of my arts-and-letters-tending life. However, every time there's a cool reading that I hear about in the yay area that I wish I could attend, but can't, it's always at Cody's. Cody's is one of those places that needs to be there so that you can be frustrated about not going to it.

A Clean Well-Lighted is a different story. I worked there half time from 1999 to 2000, helping to organize and publicize, and then hosting, their almost nightly reading events. From 2000 - 2002 I worked very very part time hosting events. All in all, I probably hosted about 150 events there, give or take. It was a fun place to work; the staff was all smart and educated and literary, we got our hands dirty touching books all day long. Plus, I got to meet and hang out with real publishing writers two or three nights a week.

ACWLP had not only in-house and out-of-store reading events, they also had writing classes with local authors, writers lunches where people could go out to a schmancy meal with visiting authors, and book clubs that met in the store on weekends. Plus, real shelf-talkers written by staff and several staff picks tables and shelves. Plus, you could just throw a title, or name, or plotline at a staff member and -- most likely -- they'd know what book you were talking about. You know, an independent book store. The real thing.

Everyone has their own personal bookstore where they go when they want to browse or when they're hoping that they can find a book right now and not have to wait for amazon to deliver. ACWLP was my personal bookstore. I'm now regretting every book I ever bought from Amazon. Why didn't I order it through ACWLP?

I feel like someone has just told me that an old friend is dying of cancer.

May 04, 2006

Butt. In. Chair.

ehn ...

must ... work ... on ... novel ...

must ...

March 29, 2006

New Blog

Yes, I know, it's not like I don't have enough to do, what with this blog, and the great amerkin novel I'm writing, and packing to moobe, and my identity theft business taping shredded documents together, and trying to find a life partner/inseminator I can stand for more than two consecutive minutes, buuuuuut ...

I've started a new blog! Yes!

This one is called "atlas(t)" and it's about one of my continuous obsessions (or rather two of them): mapping and taxonomy. Mapping being not just geographical mapping, but conceptual mapping -- using a spatial metaphor to organize ideas, or whatever -- and artists' maps. And writing about mapping and jography. Taxonomy being any system of hierarchical (or other system) of organizing or naming ... uh ... things, which includes, but is soooo not restricted to, internet and computer taxonomies.

That's a lot, but basically it's about putting up pretty pictures and trying to say smart things about them. Some of my entries are gonna be me analyzing maps, so be wooooorned.

Please check it out and let me know what you think about the "design" 'n' stuff so far.

March 28, 2006

Pakking Nightmare

How did I collect so much shit in the space of a year and a half?

I have two boxes of paper stacks that I didn't bother to sort before my last move. They remain unsorted and will probably pass into my next apartment in the same boxes. We moved a lot when I was growing up, and, sometime around the time I was seven, my parents stopped unpacking certain boxes (of books, mainly, and paperwork.) So every move thereafter we had to cart around boxes that had been unopened for three, six, eleven, twenty years. Every move there were more and more such boxes. What do they represent?

I think it's time for a bonfire.

March 20, 2006

Rezzies 'n' Fellies

MacDowell Colony (New Hampshire) ................REJECTED!

but with a very nice letter.

March 18, 2006

Residencies 'n' Fellowships

I've been in an extremely bad mood for the past four months or so (oh, you didn't notice? ... shut up!) and here's why:

Hedgebrook (Washington state) .....................................REJECTED!
Kimmel Harding Nelson (Nebraska) ................................REJECTED!
Millay Colony (New York) ..............................................REJECTED!
Ledig House Art Omi International (New York) .................REJECTED!
Provincetown Fine Arts Work Center(Massachusetts) ... waiting ... waiting ...
Axton Fellowship University of Louisville (Kentucky) ... waiting ... waiting ...
Ragdale Foundation (Lake Forest, IL) ... waiting ... waiting ...
MacDowell Colony (New Hampshire) ... waiting ... waiting ...
Jentel Artist Residency Program (Sheridan, Wyoming)......REJECTED!
Colgate University Olive B. O'Connor Fellowship (New York) ... waiting ... waiting ...
Deep Springs Writer in Res (California) .........................REJECTED!
Anderson Center (Minnesota) .......................................REJECTED!
Norton Island Residency Program ... waiting ... waiting ...
University of Wisconsin Institute for Creative Writing ... waiting ... waiting ...
Steinbeck Fellowship (San Jose State) ... waiting ... waiting ...
McCullers Center (Georgia) ... Still. Need. To apply.
Sacatar Foundation (Bahia, Brazil) ... Still. Need. To apply.
Albee Foundation Residency (Montauk, New York) ... Still. Need. To apply.
Island Institute (Alaska) ... Still. Need. To apply.
Caldera (Blue Lake Oregon) ... Still. Need. To apply.
Headlands Center for the Arts (Bay Area) ... Still. Need. To apply.
Julia and David White artists colony (Costa Rica) ... Still. Need. To apply.
Kerouac Project of Orlando (Florida) ... Still. Need. To apply.
Hidden River Arts (Delaware) ... Still. Need. To apply.
American Academy of Berlin ... Still. Need. To apply.
Yaddo (New York) MISSED OUT!!!
I-Park (Connecticut) CAN'T APPLY THIS YEAR FOR SOME REASON I'VE FORGOTTEN!
Edelstein Keller Fellowship at University of Minnesota CAN'T APPLY THIS YEAR FOR SOME REASON I'VE FORGOTTEN!
Emory University Creative Writing Fellowship CAN'T APPLY THIS YEAR FOR SOME REASON I'VE FORGOTTEN!
NEA Creative Writing Fellowships NO WAY IN HELL I'M GONNA GET THIS!
Philip Roth Creative Writing Residency at Bucknell CAN'T APPLY THIS YEAR FOR SOME REASON I'VE FORGOTTEN!

I was considering including links to each website, but your Google finger isn't broken, and I don't like you that much.

March 12, 2006

US Gov Helps Identity Thieves UPDATED

I annoy the lovely people down at 24 Hour Fitness mightily. The company issues membership cards you have to present to enter the gym. However, the membership card has no photo on it, so you have to present a photo ID as well. This annoys me. Mightily. Why don't they issue you a membership card with a photo on it, so you don't need to present a photo ID?

When I enter the gym, I make a huge drama out of having to show my drivers license as well as my membership card. While I'm doing this, they tell me that they'd be thrilled to photocopy my drivers license and stick it into a clear plastic pouch for me along with my membership card, so that I don't have to fish out my wallet every time.

Nowadays, I just say no, thank you, but occasionally I'll still bother to explain to them that:
1. Identity Theft is the US's fastest growing crime,
2. The information contained on my drivers license (or on a photocopy thereof) is all an identity thief needs to steal my identity for a multitude of purposes,
3. The whole point of photocopying my drivers license is to make it more easily accessible to me, which necessarily means it's more easily accessible to a pickpocket,
4. I've lost my gym membership card (which has my name and gym membership barcode on it and nothing else) twice and suffered no ill effects and I'd like to keep it that way.

I could also tell them (but never do) that 24 Hour Fitness's consumer base is in the 18-29-year-old and the 30-39-year-old groups (I belong, of course, to the latter. Yes, I know, you'd never have guessed). These are, respectively, the most, and second most identity thieved demographic groups. I could also point out that San Francisco is the seventh most identity-stealin' city in the country. (Data from here.) But I don't need to, because after two or three such encounters with me, any given staff member is apt to just roll their eyes and wave me in. Thus I get through my life, and, so far, my identity has never been stolen.

Too bad you can't do the same at border control.

You see, the US gov, that bevy of brains, has finally gotten around to adding RFID (Radio Frequency Identification) chips to the passports they're issuing, an action mandated by law in those rational days of 2002. RFID chips, which store all the information printed on your passports, are remotely readable, which means that anyone possessing the right technology can read the information in your passport as you walk by, without opening, or even touching your passport. It also means that anyone with the right technology can "eavesdrop" on the government reading your passport remotely. Basically, once your info is put on an RFID chip, you have no more control over who gets at it -- and neither does the government.

Right now the chips are only in diplomats' IDs (and that's scary enough!), but they'll be adding them to regular customers'-- I mean citizens' in October. In the Netherlands, a private company has already succeeded in hacking into Dutch passports, causing a bit of a ruckus. (You'd think there'd be a ruckus here, too, but then you'd think the same thing about hackable voting machines after 2000 and 2004, or about our president lying to us so that he could have his war ... and guess what? No ruckus.) My passport is good for the rest of the decade or so, but after that, will I have to bare my info to a world that is already four or five years more sophisticated at stealing it?

So, what to do? Some German hackers, concerned about the RFID tags in consumer products, developed an RFID-zapper, which deactivates any RFID tags it finds in the vicinity. But presumably, zapping your passport will only render it invalid. At the moment, all you can really do is protest. Here's an article with the names of organizations in the US and UK actively protesting the use of biometrics in such a manner.

I also might do some digging and see if I can find out what rights we have with regard to our passports, and if it's possible to refuse to allow our information to be put on an RFID chip and still get issued a passport. Does anyone out there know the law regarding passport rights?

(Information via boing boing and wikipedia.)

UPDATE
I just saw this on the Making Light blog: this guy decided to test the theory that thieves could apply for your credit card using an application you tore up and threw in the trash. And yes, indeed, thieves can, even if you have them send the card to a different address and use a cell phone number for your contact number. Scary.

UPDATE II
Oh, great. Thanks to Jose's tip in the comments below, I just read that RFID chips can carry viruses, although they don't spread from chip to chip, but rather attack the database. I agree with Jose that tech is the tech of da fewchoor, but, like lasic surgery, you should let other people do it first, and then wait twenty years, before forcing everyone to have it.

February 20, 2006

Day Two of Bloggery

... whistle ... *looks around* ...

February 19, 2006

Welcome! and justifications

How scary. My own blog.

Up until this point, I've been hiding behind meaningful, pointful group blogs that are about something. And, of course, sharing the responsibility with other people if it all sucks. This has protected me from the (self) accusation of (further) self-absorption --- from the implication of auto-diddling.

It occurs to me, though, that there's a certain virtue in taking responsibility for your diddly ... and taking it off the more public airwaves of community magazines like Hyphen (for the Asian American hipsters) and Other (for the noncategorizable San Francisco geek-hipsters). I also need to stop imposing off-topic posts onto on-topic blogs. Ya know?

All by way of saying, "Welcome to my new personal blog! I hope you like it!" and "!"

I'm giving myself an out, of course. I'm committed to blogging here between now (my birthday week) and this time next year. If the blog is boring or stupid or I hate it (or any combo thereof), then I reserve the right to wipe it off the face of the Earthosphere. Yeah.

So far, what I will blog about remains somewhat underdefined in my nebulous little big head. Part of it will be about writing ... okay, a lot of it will be about writing. A lot of it will be about terror, i.e. mine, at having to write and not knowing what I'm doing with my life (which is what this year is going to be about.) Undoubtedly there will be some cultural commentary and pseudo-poltical ranting. I will definitely write about racial stuff and gender stuff and probably post pictures of my cat. I will react to books and movies and art and stuff I find on the web. So far, so blog. I may also, at some point, rename the blog "SeeLightienne" and post about fucking initialed power brokers, but don't hold your breath.

I also hope to blog no less than every two or three days. That's "hope", not "promise". See how that works? I promise (myself) to blog once a week at least. Sigh. First posting and the commitmentphobia comes out.

Well, welcome aboard! Let the steward know if you need more towels and barf bags. See you on the Lido Deck.

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