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March 06, 2007


Lemme guess, now that Starbuck's DEAD, she gets to come back and haunt people as an angel, sort of like a more annoying Caprica without the red dress. BONG BUH BONGBONG BUH BONGBONG BONG BUH BONGBONG BUH BONG ...

I'm so glad her childhood physical and emotional abuse was all in the service of preparing her to kill herself and take one of the last remaining vipers with her. Oh, and I'm so glad that all those amazing personality quirks that made every BSG fan in the world fall madly in love with her were all the result of abuse---because women aren't that way NATURALLY, they only get mysterious, strong, and enchanting if somebody BEATS ON THEM.

And I'm so glad BSG feels the need to explain EVERY SINGLE LITTLE DETAIL they seeded in the first two seasons, because knowing that every one of Cara's fingers on one hand was neatly broken in the same place wasn't disturbing enough on its own. We had to get to SEE the door slamming on her hand not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES.

I'm so glad it was her military stage mother and not her piano-playing father (hello! How pussy is THAT?) who BEAT ON HER. It's all about strong women, you see. Oh! I get it! Starbuck is B'Elanna Torres! But without the brow ridges and with that dark, grimy edginess that Battlestar Trek Galactica is so rightly famous for. BONG BUH BONGBONG BUH BONGBONG ...

I'm guessing in the next dimension Leoben is going to knock her up with a lil' face-of-the-shape-of-things-to-comebuck, and she's going to stress out about whether or not she'll beat the thing, whether or not it'll have chrome brow ridges, and whether it will be Cylon, Human, or some tragic toastlatto hybrid accepted by neither, reviled by both, and cursed with a bum arm that jerks out with a will of its own at least once a season for the rest of the show's already excessively protracted run, punching its superior officer in the face, and landing its alloyed butt face down in a bucket of water in the brig. It's happened before. It'll happen again.

But BSG has neatly skiied around the shark this time. Why? BECAUSE NO ONE HAS TRIED TO RAPE STARBUCK YET. So you see, the show still has a ways to go to hit rock bottom. Can't WAIT!


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Thank you, my dear. I sat through that episode with my mouth opened in total shock. I am so #@$%-ing tired of Freudian mama crap masquerading as character development that I think the entire subject of motherhood should probably just be barred from all narrative artforms. The best thing about Starbuck was that she was wild, destructive, domineering, and almost feral. Explaining it all away courtesy of a harridan mommy erases everything great about her. Shame on them. I hear Sackhoff's not returning for the next season so there's a good chance she is really completely dead. But I can't help thinking she's going to wake up in a resurrection ship and be revealed as one of the final five. A fate I will not tolerate if it means I have to sit through another second of bloody backstory. This show has gone so far off the rails, I'm afraid a big-time shark jump is almost inevitable. In fact, maybe that will resurrect it into a camp parody of itself.

"Toastlatto." Heh.

Yeah, the mother backstory was a bit over the top. I would have liked to see flashbacks of when she was kidnapped, imprisoned, and basically psychologically tortured by Leoben on New Caprica instead of Mom. Or if Mom had to be there, not the whole story, just something small, because I don't think she would have relived the whole thing while driving into some kind of maelstrom to her death. Everyone in real life has a past, including someone as damaged and self-destructive as Starbuck. I do hear she's coming back next season, btw. Most of the stuff in the middle of the season is just filler. But it's a war, and Starbuck is famous for getting herself in bad situations, almost always tortured in some way, like that time on Caprica when was also kidnapped and crap. So Starbuck is some kind of martyr, which just adds to more of the escapist junk that BSG is dishing out. However I got to admit the Arrow of Athena arc was actually pretty cool. So I really hope Starbuck is dead and doesn't come back like JR in Dallas when it was all just a dream. Strong women come from somewhere. They aren't just made that way. Although for some strong women it's intrinsic to their personality even if they were born into an invalidating environment. Some strong women are made strong because they were survivors. Some strong women became strong because they grew up in nurturing environments. The best thing about Starbuck was the times when she was normal, when she could have an intimate conversation with Apollo without having to be wild, destructive, etc, which to me is such a freaking cliche. Intimate with Helo. When should could just be a friend. When she could be vulnerable. When she thought the baby was hers. When she held Leoben's hand. That's when I thought she was real. Everything else, the drinking, the impulsive sleeping around, the wild flight maneuvers, all of that was a front, a defense, for what I consider is the human strong woman inside here. Starbuck was what she was not because she wasn't "strong," she was what she was because she didn't have a strong sense of self, she had low self-esteem and self-respect, and this one moment when she flies to her death, is probably the one time she could be that inner fragile self. And regarding "rape," how do you know she wasn't? How do you know Leoben didn't rape her? How do you know that whatever happened to her body in Caprica wasn't a sort of rape? She's been psychologically and physically tortured. And yeah, it would have been nice to have her mother hold her and maybe just once to cry in her arms.

Okay, you know who else Starbuck reminds me of? Maverick in Top Gun. BSG is written from a male's perspective. I liked Sharon the Cylon when she was doing superheroic android stuff like saving Galactica and rescuing her daughter. She's more of man than Helo. She's like the fantasy version of Ripley.

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